Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Reactions to My Natural Hair
Hello, Everyone! So someone asked that I post about my experiences and people's reactions since I've gone natural. I made the decision to go natural in May of 2008. My last relaxer was in March 2008 and I did my BC (Big Chop, where you cut off all of your relaxed hair) November 2008 with about 4 inches of new growth. A lot of people told me they liked it. My mother did not. She asked why, then said, "Well, your hair grows fast, so..." My sister, who did my BC, shook her head when she was done and said, "I guess this what people do when they turn 30! You have NO hair!!" Funny thing is, these comments didn't bother me, though - I knew it was a shock. Shoot, I've never had short hair in all my life, it was a shock to me initially but I got used to it in a few minutes and LOVED it. It felt good to not be confined or restricted by my hair. No more stress of touching up my new growth and keeping it straight and "laid". My hair could just... be. And so could I.
Next I went to visit a friend of mine and his parents. I've known them for awhile, about 5-6 years so they know me pretty well. My friend's dad says, "I guess all women go through this, they have to cut their hair and do the natural thing, then they get it permed again." Umm... No. I am not getting another relaxer. This is permanent, and it wasn't just something "to do" for me. OK so all that was on the FIRST day. LOL So yes, you have to have a strong mind, and I knew WAY before I did my BC that I was sure about this. So the comments, although annoying, didn't make me regret my decision.
I met the guy I am currently seeing less than one month post-BC. So obviously HE had no issue. I had very little hair. LOL He still thought I was pretty. ;-) My friends complimented me and to my knowledge no one has said anything mean. One guy DID ask why did I cut my hair, because I was "fine before" (fine as in cute/pretty/whatever!). My reply to him was my hair does not make me, I am the same person and look just as good, if not better, now. He was like, "Yeah, you right. I just gotta get used to it." Sigh... PEOPLE. Again, good thing I have a strong mind ;-)
So. Before cutting my hair I will say I obsessed about natural hair and researched EVERYTHING online about how to care for different hair textures, products to try, I went on YouTube looking at vids of people doing their hair and followed countless hair blogs. All that research, and I learned TONS. Some of my friends said I was doing too much and I didn't need to do "research", to just do it. Mind u, my hair had been relaxed since I was 12 when I BEGGED my mom to give me one so I could have straight hair like my friends (proof that kids don't know sh**!). Anyway, I did my research so when I did my BC I knew what I was doing. It took me very little time to narrow down the products and techniques that would and would not work for me. People complimented my hair and even said things like, "I want to go natural but my hair is not like yours." Wait. Hold up. I have type 4 hair. Afro, kinky hair. VERY VERY tight curl pattern. It's not about having "hair like mine", it's about knowing how to manage YOUR hair. Hence my prior research. Secondly, I DESPISE the whole "good hair/bad hair" terminology and wish people would stop using those words. Healthy hair is good hair.
OK I am rambling but after all was said and done, those SAME people who said I was doing too much with my researching and whatnot, NOW ask me for hair tips and love my hair. They ask me how do I do this and that, and I just look like, "But you said..." LOL Anyway, besides those initial reactions on the first day, and that one male friend with his ignorance, I haven't gotten negative comments, it's been all positive. I see people stare but not in a disgusted way, more like they are wondering "How'd she do that?" I find it hilarious. And ladies, don't think that men won't like you if you cut your hair. Let me tell you, since cutting mine men come at me more than they did when I had a relaxer. Now THAT surprised me! I don't know if it is the fact that I don't look like everyone else, or my confidence level or what, but they definitely approach me more.
Alright, now let's hear some of your experiences. I have 30-something followers so I'd like more than 2-3 comments. LOL Men can comment, too - tell how you feel about women with natural hair. I look forward to ur comments.